Sometimes talking about it or planning it can ruin a good thing.
Dear you,
Yes I know there’s a high chance that I’ll lose you again, I really don’t need everyone reminding me everyday. I keep telling myself that it won’t happen but maybe that’s only because I don’t want to hear or believe the truth..
No one understands the shit I went through the first time I lost you, how long it took me to finally take everything in and accept the fact that you were gone, and how happy I was when you finally came back home. I’m trying my best to keep you around but I don’t feel like I’m doing enough. I feel like everything is slipping away.
I’m always hoping for the best, but nothing seems to be getting better. I feel like I’m starting to fool myself now, this whole situation is fucking with our heads.The only thing I’m scared of now is * coming back without you.
-
It makes me sad to see you stress out so much over cunts doing you over all the time. You already have a lot on your shoulders to deal with at the moment. You don’t need, let alone deserve all this bullshit. Never chase someone who doesn’t give you the time of day. It’s not giving up, it’s moving on. Because the ones who truly love and care about you will always be there for you. Head up, no effect.
No matter what I choose, I can’t win.
It’s time to move on..
Wow, last night has made me realise how much I hate drinking and partying now..
What the fuck. I actually forgot you existed and we haven’t seen or talked to each other in like half a year after you fucked me over and just today I hear that you’re still talking shit. You have no fucking idea what’s going on with me and my loved ones. So think whatever you want to think but don’t go around telling people lies that you came up with and situations that you have analyzed on your own as if it was the truth. And also, you barely know my boyfriend and he doesn’t know you at all so never drop his name like that again you low life gutter rat.
All I do now is work and when I’m not working I stay home. But earlier today I had to go out for a bit ‘coz I had an interview. While I was waiting in line, someone came up and hugged me from behind. I turned around and it was ‘P’. I was so surprised and shocked! I used to always think about what would happen if I bumped into him while I’m going home from work. I’d just want to run up to him and hug him but I was too paranoid to walk on the streets so I always got my mum to pick me up. I can’t believe he actually risked everything to find me and talk to me for only 2 minutes. I wish he could’ve stayed around for longer but I seriously haven’t been this happy in so long.
It was so good to finally see your face and to know that you’re taking care of yourself. Love you like my blood related brother and I can’t wait until I can see you again, properly this time.
I kept getting compliments from strangers throughout the whole day today. It was weird but it did feel nice :)
To be honest I felt fine but it was the type of fine that would either make me ecstatic or fucking miserable in seconds, one or the other. I’m starting to feel empty and distraught now. I think maybe that’s why I’ve been doing so much for others and tryna make others happy since nothing I do for myself has made me feel good in any way lately :/
I feel like I’m getting replaced…. :/
4 Month Anniversary ♥
One of our first photos taken together lol, look at my miniature knuckle all bruised up from play fighting hahah.
Missing my homie/bestfriend/lover more than anything. I used to only get a 6 minute phone call each day, 1 visit a week and 1 letter sent to me every few weeks but now I’m not allowed to see or talk to you at all :’( Cutting sick! I pray that everything will get solved out for us eventually and things will be like they were before. Waaah I just want you back home already! I love you yah fkn imcray and I’m always here for you, we’ll get through this together ♥
“Every man needs a woman when his life is a mess, ‘coz just like a game of chess, the queen protects the king”.
I haven’t drank or partied in so long! It feels good to wake up everyday without a hangover for once haha.
I don’t miss going to school at all but I have to admit, that life was much easier than the real world.
Omg, I work with the cutest gay guys! I love my new job even though it’s tiring and a mission to get to from where I live.
Going to bed now.
